CFJTM Chapter 135. He is the only love that dwells in his heart

TN: So I was planning to make up for the missed chapter but I’m currently so stressed, I’m temping for one of my mum’s friends and moved to live closer. But this job makes me feel so stupid and loathe myself, so unfortunately I will barely be able to keep up the schedule let alone more chapters. This will probably last for abut over a month, sorry for that

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Shen Qingshu opened his eyes vaguely to the sensation of Han Cheng kissing him.

When he woke up, his whole person was confused. He was preparing to say “good morning” to Han Cheng, but as soon as his mouth opened, it was blocked by Han Cheng.

Shen Qingshu had no choice but to cooperate with him and kissed him back. Only then did he say to him, “good morning.”

“Good morning.” Han Cheng pecked his lips.

After pecking his lips, he kissed his face again.

Holding Shen Qingshu to himself, he let him lie on his chest, wrapped his hands around him, and continued to kiss his lips.

Shen Qingshu was kissed by him for a long time, and finally woke up completely. He smiled and kissed Han Cheng’s chin and asked him, “haven’t you kissed enough?”

He had kissed him all night last night. When he fell asleep, Han Cheng was still kissing him. Why did he wake up this morning and kiss him again?

Maybe last night really scared him. Shen Qingshu thought that he would never dare to be in danger again. Otherwise, he might be able to bear it, but his boyfriend would not.

Han Cheng looked at his clear eyebrows, kissed his eyebrows, and said in a warm voice, “en.”

He really hasn’t kissed enough. When he thought of the time when Shen Qingshu disappeared yesterday and the dream last night, he wanted to hold him in his arms, constantly kiss him and feel his existence.

“Let me kiss again.” Han Cheng touched Shen Qingshu’s face and raised his head to kiss his lips.

He kissed softly and delicately, like the flowing water in spring, trickling down, making people happy.

Shen Qingshu felt his kiss and unconsciously opened his mouth and kissed him back.

They kissed for a long time, and Shen Qingshu separated their lips and lay down on him quietly.

“I’m fine.” He whispered, “don’t be afraid.”

Han Cheng looked at him and gently touched his hair. After a long time, he said, “QingQing, I had a dream.”

“What dream?”

“A bad dream.” Han Cheng calmly said, “you dreamt about me and Bai Jian before, didn’t you? Last night, I also dreamt about it.”

“A bad dream.” Han Cheng calmly said, “you dreamt about me and Bai Jian before, didn’t you? Last night, I also dreamt about it.”

Shen Qingshu was startled and unconsciously looked up at him.

“Was I happy in your dream?” Han Cheng asked him.

Shen Qingshu thought for a while. “I think you were happy.”

He said that after all, he was one of the novel’s protagonists and he should be happy.

“But in my dream, I was not happy.” Han Cheng whispered softly.

“Why?” Shen Qingshu asked in surprise.

He is the main character. Even if there are misunderstandings and setbacks in the novel, he should be content and achieve a happy end.

Han Cheng looked at him with a smile. His finger moved forward slowly and touched his cheek. Saying, “what do you think?”

“You’re dissatisfied with the many misunderstandings?”

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Han Cheng shook his head.

“Then Bai Jian’s character is too tortuous?”

Han Cheng still shook his head.

“Then why?” Shen Qingshu did not understand.

“Because I love you.” Han Cheng said gently.

Shen Qingshu blinked. “So…?”

“I just want to love you.” Han Cheng looked into his eyes and said seriously, “but in my dream I liked another person.”

Han Cheng didn’t understand, “why aren’t you in my dream? Obviously I’ve always liked you and only wanted to love you. Why do you want me to like other people in my dream?”

He didn’t understand why he had such a dream.

He felt aggrieved about why he had such a dream.

Obviously he never had anyone else in his heart. He loved Shen Qingshu so much. From beginning to end, he was the only one he liked. Why did he not appear in his dream? Why was he not the lover in his dream?

Han Cheng couldn’t figure it out.

“I should dream of you. Even in my dream, I should like you. And only love you. But I can’t find you anywhere and then I became someone else’s lover. I’m very distressed.”

He said, “QingQing, I just want to fall in love with you.”

Shen Qingshu listened to his words, and tears burst out in an instant.

Of course he knew what was going on. Han Cheng probably dreamed of the original book and the world in which he didn’t transmigrate.

So in his dream, he likes Bai Jian and can’t find himself because he is not in that world.

He just didn’t think that he would feel uncomfortable because of this and unhappy because of his uncontrollable dream.

In his dream, he also wanted to like himself, and only love himself, so he was lost and lonely because he had become someone else’s lover in his dream.

Shen Qingshu lowered his head and kissed his lips. He said in a quiet voice, “it doesn’t matter. You can like me now. You only need to love me now.”

Han Cheng said to him childishly, “but I also want to like you in my dream.”

“Then have a good dream tonight,” Shen Qingshu comforted him. “You can like me very much in your dream tonight.”

“That was not my dream last night.” He insisted, “he should not appear in my dream, let alone the me in my dream loving him. There is no possibility of me liking anyone else, let alone love them.”

Shen Qingshu had to kiss his lips again and coaxed him with a soft voice. “It’s all over. It’s just a dream. Don’t think so much. Aren’t I here with you now?”

He rubbed Han Cheng’s forehead, “so don’t worry.”

“Is that what you dreamed of, about me and Bai Jian before?” Han Cheng asked him.

Shen Qingshu shook his head and said, “no, I thought you were happy with him. At least, most of the time you were happy.”

Han Cheng guessed that was the case. Otherwise, he wouldn’t push him to Bai Jian.

He seemed to understand Shen Qingshu at that time. Because the dream was too real, many things were mixed together, as if they all happened in the real world.

If he is happy in Shen Qingshu’s dream, then he probably really thinks that is what he wants.

He hugged Shen Qingshu and said to him, “it’s all fake. All you need to know is that I only want to love you.”

“En.” Shen Qingshu nodded and leaned against his shoulder.

He never thought that one day Han Cheng would dream of the original novel, nor did he think that he would be unhappy because of the content of the original novel. Only witnessing the dream and he was so unhappy. Then, in the world where he didn’t transmigrate, what kind of emotion did he feel?

The outline he saw and the assistant’s stories he heard were all from Bai Jian’s perspective, narrating their love story.

From the perspective of Han Cheng, which he could not see, what mood changes did he experience?

Shen Qingshu was crestfallen for a while.

He hugged the person in his arms tightly and lay clinging to him, hating that he had not appeared in the original novel.

Han Cheng sensed his mood and comforted him, “it’s all right.”

He just woke up and was afraid. When Shen Qingshu asked him, he was still a little uncomfortable. That’s why he said this to Shen Qingshu.

Han Cheng guessed that he was frightened yesterday and had been worried that Shen Qingshu would have an accident. That’s why he had this dream. He dreamed that he could not find Shen Qingshu.

This may be a reflection of his inner fears.

However, a strangeness that Han Cheng remembered was the Shen Qingshu in his dream. He is so different from the Shen Qingshu he is familiar with.

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His face is exactly the same as Shen Qingshu’s, but his temperament is completely different. However, Han Cheng tried to recall their first meeting. At that time, Shen Qingshu really had that temperament, silent, depressed and lifeless.

Everything changed after he took a bath.

In the dream, when he came out after taking a bath Shen Qingshu was still like that, so he left.

But in reality, when he came out of the bath, Shen Qingshu looked at him curiously and brightly. His eyes were full of desire to try new things, he looked happy and interested, so he stayed.

He seemed to catch something, but it was fleeting. When he thought about it again, he could recall his original idea.

He raised Shen Qingshu’s face and looked at him seriously.

Shen Qingshu blinked in confusion. “What’s the matter?”

“The you in my dream are different from you now.” Han Cheng stated.

Shen Qingshu looked at him in surprise.

Han Cheng stated, “you look the same, but I know you are different. I can tell.”

Shen Qingshu’s heart shook fiercely. He stared at Han Cheng in a daze. In disbelief that one day he would be so close to the truth.

Of course, he is not “Shen Qingshu”. Even if he looks like him, he is not “Shen Qingshu”.

He will never be “Shen Qingshu” in his life. He is just himself.

He lowered his head to kiss Han Cheng and asked him softly, “can you really tell?”

“Yes.” Han Cheng kissed him and replied, “I saw him in my dream. I thought it was you. I thought I finally found you. But as soon as he turned around, I knew it wasn’t you.”

“You are very similar in appearance, but different in character. He is not you,  he has done a lot of things you definitely wouldn’t do. I don’t like him, and I don’t like him to do those things with your appearance.”

“With the same appearance, but with not your decisiveness, nor able to admit his faults.”

“I don’t like him.” Han Cheng said.

In his eyes, Shen Qinshu is perfect and knowledgeable. How can he do things like entangling others?

How can he sow discord and deliberately frame him?

So he didn’t like the Shen Qingshu in his dream, and he doesn’t like him doing things he doesn’t like with a face he is familiar with.

Shen Qingshu looked at him, his eyes were gentle, quiet and clear. The joy in his eyes overflowed from the corners of his eyes like streamers.

He smiled and kissed Han Cheng.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said, “you like me and I like you.”

Han Cheng hugged him and kissed him.

The sunlight in the house is gently moving, and Shen Qingshu’s heart is light and soft.

He was pushed to bed again by Han Cheng, his tenderness like touching the clouds in the sky.

He held Han Cheng in his arms and put his lips close to his ears.

“What did you say?” Han Cheng asked him

Shen Qingshu smiled. “Didn’t you hear? I won’t say it again.”

“No way.” Han Cheng hurriedly held him down. “Say it again.”

Shen Qingshu looked at him with a smile and said nothing.

He pulled down Han Cheng’s neck and kissed his lips warmly.

“I’m your best gift.” He said softly into his lips and teeth.

The best gift from heaven and the best gift from me.

It can’t bear to see your loneliness, and I can’t bear to see you in pain. So, before the beginning of the story, I came to you.

Shen Qingshu suddenly finds out that maybe he is the one who has the most affinity with Han Cheng, so he can come here across time and space.

He came here specially.

Before meeting him, his love was not connected with anyone.

But after meeting him, his love is only connected to him.

 He is the only love that dwells in his heart. 

TN: Crying buckets ( ˃̣̣̥n˂̣̣̥ ) how could the original’s author treat our HC that way!

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