TN: Thank you @Julie for the ko-fi ❤️ Enjoy this teary chapter early as thanks!
Also happy bonfire night ҉\( ‘ω’ )/҉
“Of course not!” Shen Qingshu said bashfully.
If he had known that Han Cheng was coming, he would not have planned this scene today at all. He would have definitely pushed this scene back!
“Why did you come here suddenly?”
Han Cheng smiled, “How could I witness such beautiful scenery if I didn’t come here? I originally wanted to surprise you, but you gave me a surprise instead.”
His eyes looked at Shen Qingshu again from top to bottom. “It’s really beautiful.”
Shen Qingshu: ! ! !
“You, shut up!”
He looked at Han Cheng helplessly, pushed him away, and walked forward with his head down.
Han Cheng looked at his back in the skirt, silently took out his mobile phone and took a photo.
Zhou Jianming beside him: ? ? ? ?
Boy, you’re even taking pictures!
You are really awesome!
He looked away and pretended he didn’t know anything. Shen Qingshu walked forward with a dull expression, he deliberately didn’t look back at him and sped up his pace, but he took pictures faster!
Running away will not solve any problems, it will only lead to being photographed secretly,
Zhou Jianming plans to remind his little prince quietly when Han Cheng is gone.
After Han Cheng finished shooting, he quickly ran after him, walked beside him, and stared at him unabashedly.
Shen Qingshu was agitated under his gaze. He looked back at him and said, “What are you looking at? What’s so attractive!”
“Of course, you look attractive from top to bottom. I didn’t expect you to keep true to this paragraph. I thought you would change it.”
Change what change? This is a key plot. If you change Su Qing will he still be Su Qing ? !
“You are not allowed to look even if it’s attractive.”
“That’s not good,” Han Cheng teased him deliberately. “You’re so beautiful. If I don’t take the chance to look, maybe I won’t see it ever again.”
Shen Qingshu: …
Shen Qingshu didn’t know what to say, so he just walked into the elevator and ignored him.
Han Cheng followed him and entered the elevator. Zhou Jianming was about to follow in, when Han Cheng looked at him silently.
Zhou Jianming: …
Okay, Zhou Jianming quietly withdrew his feet.
Alas, Zhou Jianming, the time for you to lead the way is when you should come here quickly. Why are you coming here after your role is over? Don’t come here!
He had just crossed the river and now demolished the bridge. 1
Zhou Jianming resigned himself to standing outside the door, waiting for the next elevator.
Han Cheng looked at the elevator closing, and then he reached out and held the man in his arms.
“Is it cold?” He wondered, “Why are you barelegged? Isn’t it cold?”
“Not cold.” Shen Qingshu murmured.
There is no way even if he is cold. Is he going to wear silk stockings like a girl?
Shen Qingshu feels terrible when he thinks about it. He refuses and doesn’t want to!
Han Cheng reached out and touched them. Seeing that the temperature was normal, he was relieved, but Shen Qingshu was somewhat ashamed after being touched by him.
“You sneakily groped me.” He whispered.
Han Cheng smiled and kissed him on the face. “I have to see if what you said is true, or if you’re too embarrassed to say you’re cold.”
Shen Qingshu felt a little sweet after hearing what he said. He looked up at him and said, “Why did you come here suddenly? And didn’t tell me in advance.”
“If I told you, can I still see this beautiful appearance?” Han Cheng smiled, “You will definitely avoid this scene.”
Shen Qingshu who was seen through was silent: …
“I knew it.” As soon as Han Cheng saw that he was silent, he knew he was right. “Thankfully I’m lucky, otherwise I would have to wait to see the movie.”
“There’s nothing to see.” Shen Qingshu said softly.
“I think it looks good.” He approached Shen Qingshu’s ear and said, “Makes me want to hug you.”
“You’ve already hugged me.”
“Not like this.” Han Cheng smiled and pinched his face “You go to film first, and I’ll hug you when you come back from filming.”
Shen Qingshu: …
Shen Qingshu unavoidably heated up. Won’t it be the same kind of thing?
Hug horizontally?
Or will he jump on top of him like the previous time?
He looked at Han Cheng with some expectation in his eyes mixed with embarrassment. He turned his face away and responded in a low voice, “Oh.”
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After leaving the elevator and arriving at the set, Shen Qingshu found that it was really cold outdoors with bare legs.
Seeing that he unconsciously touched the outside of his thigh, Han Cheng took off his windbreaker and put it on him.
“I said you would be cold.” He zipped up his windbreaker for him.
“It’s okay. The filming is done indoors and it’s not cold inside.” Shen Qingshu said.
“Hopefully.” Han Cheng looked at his legs and wanted to add a pair of jeans to him.
It’s nice to wear a skirt, but it’s also nice to wear pants. It’s better to wear pants and be warm.
After all, in the end, he should still love himself.
The props of the studio are ready. Liu Fang, an old actor who plays Shen Qingshu’s mother, has been talking with Mei Ruo about her performance for a while. When Shen Qingshu walked over, everyone’s eyes couldn’t help but focus on him.
This was his first time to wear women’s clothes. Many people stared at him curiously.
The head of the publicity team asked him directly, “Can we post pictures and buy a hot search? It will definitely explode.”
Shen Qingshu: ! ! !
Shen Qingshu quickly refused, “This is really no good.”
The team leader advised him, “This is really good.”
“No.” Shen Qingshu said, “I will deduct your salary if you dare to continue.”
Team leader: …
The team leader gave up in an instant.
There is nothing in the world that can not be solved by salary deduction. If there is, let’s deduct some more!
Shen Qingshu was relieved and went to Mei Ruo to listen to her discussion with Liu Fang.
Han Cheng is free and waiting to see Shen Qingshu acting on the set. He sweeps his gaze around, sees his familiar brother, thought of something and walks to the other’s side.
Bai Xuege was staring at Shen Qingshu’s back and exclaimed: Good guy, I didn’t expect that his good brother would look good in his skirt and his legs would be so straight!
As soon as Han Cheng came near, he found that his eyes were stuck in the wrong place, so he took a long step forward to block his sight.
Bai Xuege raised his head to scold them, but when he looked up, he noticed who it was. He was surprised and asked, “Why are you here? Did you see? Shen Qingshu is wearing a skirt!”
“What are you excited about him wearing a skirt?”
“I haven’t seen it yet. Of course I’m excited. Have you seen it?”
Han Cheng: … It’s the first time for him to see it too.
“Aren’t you excited?” Bai Xuege looked at him in shock, and his eyes were filled with “Are you still a man”!
Han Cheng: …
“I’m already excited!”
“I’ll tell you. Alas, I didn’t expect that he would look so pretty in a skirt. His legs were so straight, long, straight and white!”
“You’re looking very carefully!” Han Cheng said through gritted teeth.
“Why are you jealous of me?” Bai Xuege looked helpless, “I’m your love mentor. I only care about Shen Qingshu from the perspective of friends, and I have no other desire.”
“You dare not.” Han Cheng sat down beside him. “Alas, don’t say I didn’t remind you. Your ge is coming back soon.”
Bai Xuege: ! ! !
“Didn’t he just leave?”
“Do you still care about him?”
“I don’t want to, but I can’t tolerate him sending me messages all day long. I don’t want to care about him.”
“So you forgive him?”
“How can that be?”
“Actually, I think…”
Han Cheng was about to help his friend say a few words when he saw Bai Xuege glaring eyes and heard his elongated tone, “Do you think? Do you have a different opinion?”
Han Cheng: …
“I’m not thinking about anything now.”
“That’s what I thought.” Bai Xuege looked at him and said, “You should know your position and whose side you’re on, understand?”
Han Cheng was inexplicably sandwiched in between:
Han Cheng silently turned to see his boyfriend. Hmm, it’s best to look at his boyfriend.
“Qingqing is really beautiful.”
“Indeed beautiful, tut,” Bai Xuege glanced at him. “Some people are very lucky.”
Han Cheng smiled and was very pleased.
Bai Xuege looked at his proud expression and smiled thinking that these two are quite sweet inside and outside novels.
So good!
It is indeed the first pair of CPs he supported! So sweet!
Shen Qingshu and Mei Ruo are ready to start filming after the discussion.
Su Qing, as the male protagonist in this type of movie, of course he can’t be just a simple policeman.
If the image of the main character is too one dimensional, it is inevitable that the supporting role will overshadow him. Especially supporting roles such as Chen Ai, who are full of character. So at that time Shen Qingshu designed Su Qing’s image with some added complexity.
He and Chen Ai are like two sides of the same coin, similar but different. They carry the same weight but have different patterns.
Su Qing’s parents got married through a blind date. When they got married, they thought they were very suitable. However, they later found that they were not suitable. Fortunately, life is smooth, so they are still happy.
Until their first child was born, Su Qing’s father hoped to have a boy, while his mother thought that whether it was a boy or a girl didn’t matter. She naively thought that as long as it was their child, the father of the child would love them. But when the child was born and it was a girl, she saw the disappointment on her husband’s face.
Su Qing’s father hoped that she could have another child, but his mother did not want to. She was afraid that after having another child, her husband, who did not like their daughter, would be more and more indifferent to their daughter. She advised her husband that the conditions in the family were normal, and only one child was enough.
But the husband insisted on another one, saying that it was his parents’ wish, and he hoped to fulfil the wishes of the two elders.
From then on, the two began to quarrel, have a cold war and quarrel again.
When her daughter was just over three years old, one day Su Qing’s father took her out to play, but when she came back, he said that the child was lost and could not be found.
Su Qing’s mother was shocked and angry. She thought that he had deliberately thrown away their daughter, but her husband didn’t admit it. He just said that he had gone to buy something, and the child had disappeared.
His face was full of anxiety, but Su Qing’s mother continued to think he was lying to her.
She called the police and searched for her daughter day and night, but could not wait for the news of her children. The huge mental pressure made her have a nervous breakdown. When she walked on the road and saw a little girl about three years old, she would rush up and call her daughter’s name and regard her as her daughter.
Su Qing’s father didn’t want to live with such a woman, so he filed for divorce. Just at that time, news came that his wife was pregnant again.
He accepted the advice from the court and waited patiently for her to give birth.
One night, however, Su Qing’s mother suddenly burst into tears. She remembered her lost daughter again. She took the kitchen knife and said that she wanted to avenge her daughter and kill her husband.
Su Qing’s father was so frightened that he wanted to divorce no matter what others said. He escaped from Su Qing’s mother and never returned.
Su Qing’s mother gave birth to him alone. Her parents looked at her grandson and comforted her, saying, “QingQing must have missed you, so she reincarnated to meet you again. Look, he is exactly the same as when QingQing was a child.”
Su Qing’s mother raised her hand to hold him and called his name gently.
But she soon found that this was not her daughter. “He is a boy, Qingqing is a girl, and he is not Qingqing.”
She refused to hold her own child or breast feed her own child. She did not even look at him. She only had her lost daughter in her heart.
When her parents saw this, they found their granddaughter’s clothes and shoes from when she was a child, put them on their grandson, and coaxed her by saying, “You see, QingQing is your daughter.”
She looked at him in a trance, and vaguely felt that it seemed to be her daughter again.
She overflowed with maternal love, hugged him and gently fed him breast milk.
Su Qing was raised as his sister.
He doesn’t have his own name. His sister’s name is Su Qing, so he is also called Su Qing. His sister’s birthday is in spring, so he also has a birthday in spring. His sister is a little girl wearing a skirt, so he also wears a skirt.
His grandparents would hold him when his mother was asleep and say, “Remember, you are a boy, and you should go to the men’s toilet when you go to school.”
Su Qing looks at his skirt and doesn’t understand why other boys wear pants, but he wears skirts.
He secretly hid a pair of trousers for himself. He wore trousers when he went to school and skirts at home.
But sometimes he is also bumped by others. The boys in the class tease him as”abnormal”, and the girls look down on him and think he is a sissy.
His teacher learned about his family situation and said in the class, “Su Qing’s mother is mentally ill, he is filial and we should learn from him, be a filial and sensible child, not speak ill of him behind his back.”
However, the primary school students did not know so much about human relations. Their empathy and three viewpoints were not sound, and they only remembered the first half of the sentence.
So they laughed and said, “Su Qing, your mother is a psychopath. Will you be a psychopath in the future? I think you are a psychopath now. You will definitely be a psychopath in the future. Children born of psychopaths must also be psychopaths.”
Su Qing listened to their mockery with red eyes, but did not speak.
He bowed his head and thought to himself that he would not be insane.
He saw off his grandparents in the laughter of others and grew up day by day.
He didn’t make any friends. He kept a distance with many people gently and silently. He became a policeman. He thought that maybe one day he could find his sister, so that he could live independently as Su Qing, instead of being the shadow of his sister.
However, even the name of Su Qing belongs to his sister. How can he live independently as Su Qing?
So, he began to throw away his skirts at home, and he began to wear pants. He did not want to live in the shadow of his sister anymore. He wanted to be a boy, a real man with his own gender.
However, his mother found out all this.
Shen Qingshu was shooting this scene today. When he came back from investigating the case, he was very tired. He just wanted to rest, but found his mother standing at the bedroom door looking at him.
She asked him why he didn’t wear skirts recently. He said it was inconvenient.
She told him, “Then you can wear it at home. It’s better for girls to wear skirts. Your wardrobe has no skirts, and it’s not like a girl’s wardrobe.”
Su Qing tried to explain, “Girls don’t have to wear skirts. I look good in pants.”
“No.” His mother was nervous. “You are a girl. You want to wear skirts. You loved wearing skirts when you were a child. Did you forget? Come on, Mum found you a skirt. Would you like to change into it for me to see?”
Su Qing refused, but his mother kept pressing.
“Do you also think girls are bad? Do you want to stop being a girl? Like your father, you only like boys!”
“No.” Su Qing said anxiously.
Mother Su shook her head and looked at him in disbelief. It seemed that she was sober, but it seemed that she was more and more delirious. “No, you are not my QingQing. My QingQing has been lost. I want to find her. She has been gone so long, I need to find her.”
“Mum.” Su Qing grabbed her and said, “I’m QingQing. I’m your QingQing. I didn’t get lost. You don’t have to go out to find me.”
He was really afraid that she would leave home to find his sister, and that she would pick up someone else’s child on the way and say it was her lost daughter.
When he didn’t understand her and hated her most, he opened the door and roared, “Go find her, find your beloved daughter!”
But the sight that awaited him was her being beaten and scolded by others, and her acting aggrieved like a child in the police station. Saying pitifully, “That’s my daughter.”
It’s not that he hasn’t resisted, and it’s not that he hasn’t suffered. It’s just that every time, every time, at the end, he can only compromise.
He could not give up his mother, even if his mother has an abnormal mental state.
Su Qing can only coax her, “I am QingQing, I am her.”
“You are not.” Su’s mother struggled wildly, “I remember, you are a boy, you are my second child, you are not my QingQing, my QingQing is a girl. They do not like her, her father does not like her, her grandparents do not like her, only I love her, I want to find her, I want to find her.”
She struggled to run out. Su Qing held her in his arms. At that moment, his firm confidence was broken again. He said, “I am your daughter, I am her, I am her!”
He picked up the skirt his mother threw on the ground, ran out to change it and appeared in front of her again. His eyes were full of sadness. He was barefoot. The white pleated skirt was like a blooming flower. His legs were straight and long, but his eyes contained only sadness.
He said, “Mum, look, I’m Qingqing, I’m her.”
His mother looked at his soft appearance, as if she had finally calmed down again.
She looked at her daughter lovingly and walked slowly to him.
She looked at the boy who was taller than herself, reached out and touched his face. She asked him, “Why are you unhappy? Did your father say something to you again? Did he hit you again?”
Su Qing shook his head and forced the corner of his lips to open, tears rolling down his eyes.
His mother wiped his tears and hugged him.
“Don’t be afraid.” She said, “Mum will protect you, you will always have me. Mum loves you the most, so don’t be afraid. You will always be my baby.”
Su Qing nodded, and the tears in his eyes silently rolled down.
He hugged the woman in front of him, held her tightly, and shed tears.
He became his sister again. In this family, in his mother’s heart, there was never him, only his sister.
He sat on the bed with the white skirt spread on his legs. It was a pair of beautiful legs, white and straight. With it on he looked like a girl.
However, he is not a girl.
He blinked, with a “pitter patter”, there were plops of water on the white skirt, like raindrops on flower petals.
Han Cheng watched him and felt sad.
Mei Ruo directed the camera to give a long close-up of his face before finally shouting, “Cut.”
Shen Qingshu immediately stood up, jumped on the spot, and asked Mei Ruo, “I want to go to change my clothes. I don’t want to act this scene out today.”
Still immersed in the performance just now, Mei Ruo, who was melancholy and sad: …
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Your emotions are changing too fast!
Can’t you be sad for a second ? !
Mei Ruo waved her hand helplessly, “Go and change, there is no other schedule for you today.”
Shen Qingshu thanked her and ran out happily, ready to change clothes.
As a result, he just ran out of the shooting area and saw Han Cheng.
Han Cheng raised his hand and wrapped him in his windbreaker. “Aren’t you cold?”
“It’s not cold now.” Shen Qingshu said with a smile.
He looked up at Han Cheng. His eyes were still a little red after crying. He was wearing a skirt. Standing with Han Cheng, they were like a beautiful couple in the eyes of the outside world.
Mei Ruo looked up and saw this picture. She was stunned for a moment and thought, was this Shen Qingshu’s boyfriend?
It matches him very well.
But soon, she remembered that Shen Qingshu was a boy, not a girl, so what matches well? It was all the skirt’s fault for making her dizzy.
Mei Ruo lowered her head and smiled, thinking her previous thought was quite funny.
1 就把他这个桥给拆了 = After crossing the river, demolish the bridge. After achieving their purpose, they will kick away the person who has helped them.
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This is why its important to seek professional help when someone is mentally unstable… It’s not easy taking care of one when they are not on their right mind, got an experience when my mom failed to take her meds as per the doctor’s instruction…
Honestly tho in CN novels that contains character with mental health issues, its very rare to see them seek doctors…
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My tears fell when Su Qing put the skirt back on and cried. Poor child just wants to be loved as himself. Mei Ruo has good eyes ~ No wonder she’s an amazing director hehe
Yes our poor baby has very simple wishes ( ๑╥⌓╥)
Thanks for reading and commenting! ❤️
i loooooove this as always!! tysmmmm for the chapter! <333
Thank you for always reading and commenting! ❤️
Thanks for the chapter! I really like the novel/film within this novel. This author is so talented to make so many characters feel so layered and multidimensional.
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Pingback: CFJTM Chapter 151. “Makes people want to hug you.” & Su Qing (a play within a play) - Paw Print Path Translations